What??!?!..That's what he told me..... <- doesn't get more random than that!

The same night, he called and apologized. Clearly he doesn't know my apology policy. I don't accept them. It's not even that I don't accept them, but it doesn't make me feel or make the situation any better, so...
It's whatever though. Truth be told, I'm not interested in fighting or arguing. There's way too much other shit going on, for me (anyone) to be waisting their breath trying to change someone's mind on some bullshit. Life's too short. Lets agree to disagree, just watch how you talk to me.
So much is changing so fast, yet many things still stand still. SBMILF ISO motivation! I'm just having a hard time believing I don't really know what I want out of life. Like, I know the outcome, but how am I getting myself there? Its really time for me to just accept the fact that I don't have to want to do and be one thing, I just have to do and be. The purpose of this blog was to document the exploration of things that I'm interested in but uhhhhh.....yea that's not happening.
I'm tired of dudes. I'm leaving. I'm walking out. I'm walking out of the "I like dudes" room. I'm not going in any other rooms, but if you're looking for me, I'll be standing in the hallway. lol
I was telling Tola yesterday, I don't have a hero or a mentor. I don't know why that is. I didn't realize that until I first set up my myspace account and they have a section for you to list your hero(es). I put Ahmir because "he saves me everyday" (although he scares me sometimes too lol),
but I can't model myself after him or seek advice/direction from him. So I just don't have one.
But I am grateful for the delivery I got at work today which was Cathie Black's book Basic Black - The Essential Guide for Getting Ahead at Work (and in Life). I wanted to get this book when she was on Oprah months ago, but my spending is out of control so I even had to stop myself from buying books. However, my book club is reading it this month, so I had to get it, and I'm so excited. I don't know if I'm looking to get anything in particular from this book, but if it creates a spark and/or enlightens me.
I like to hear the stories of and advice from successful women in the industries I'm interested in. How they sat in a cubicle like me, and how creativity, freedom, swag and perks supplemented a bleak salary... like mine lol. How they pulled themselves up by the bra/boot straps and were proactive in creating themselves and carving out a niche and a place in this world. I crave stories like those, they are the light at the end of a very long tunnel with endless detours.
So that's what I'll be doing this weekend. Reading my books and getting a much needed pedicure (it's a damn shame!). I need to be working on bettering myself and displaying that. On with it!