I met a guy

a few weeks ago. I was walking to the train station and he was crossing the street diagonally towards me. I glanced at him only because he was coming my way, but kept it moving. He was giving me the eyeball the whole time he was crossing the street but I wasn't feeling my hottest and generally don't make it a habit to talk to people in the street so i didn't return his gaze. I slow my pace so that he is now walking in front of me. And as I'm walking behind him I admire his "b boy" swag. Baggy but not too baggy jeans, white t and foam posits (my favorite sneaker for guys), blackberry curve in hand. I regret for a minute not giving him the greenlight but feel I have another chance as he is headed down into the train station also.

When I get into the station he is standing on line at the token booth and our eyes meet again, and this time I let my gaze linger (the greenlight). I remove one of the buds from my ear. "How are you doing he asks?" I answer; then he asks if I have a minute. I wait for him to buy his metrocard (he was like 4th in line), and I'm thinking to myself, damn, this better be good, I'm standing around waiting on a nigga?? But I'm also telling myself I have to be open minded seeing that I'm always complaining about not meeting men.

When we finally do make it through the turnstyle I don't have much time so I cut to it. Ask him his name and we exchange numbers. We introduce ourselves, and discover our work places are practically neighbors. He is giving me the nasty eye usually reserved for dirty old men in my world..like he might as well be licking his lips and rubbing his hands together..I swear I could see his fangs..not cool. But some people just don't know better. First thing he asks me about are my piercings and how many I have as he unapologetically grazes the entire surface of my body with his eyes...first flag goes up..I see where his mind is; he thinks I'm a freak. Then he asks where I live and if I live alone, and theres the 2nd flag (it normally wouldn't have because these are the types of questions u have to ask beforehand) then he proceeds to tell me how sexy I am and that he really likes my piercing and that he's aggressive and he hopes I can handle him.

Now I'm officially regretting giving him my number and want to snatch his phone and run for the hills. I tell him I really have to go now and reach to shake his hand. This motherfather while holding my hand circles his finger on my palm (you know, the 5th grade shit!). Now I'm mad at myself..I know better than talking to a dude on the street, and now this retard has my number.

I ran into him again the day before yesterday too.
I caught his eye, and as I was walking by him, I was thinking damn homeboy is kind of cute but he looks familiar, I wonder if its that dude. He had a hat on so I couldn’t tell. Anyway I get to the corner and I’m waiting for the light to change when he walks up next to me. Stands, and looks in my face. Tells me I should smile and not look so serious and I ask him why. Even longer story short, he says I look familiar but he didn’t recognize me and he forgot my name. He basically tried to re-bag me (turn off) before I told him we had met already. Then he goes thru the whole spiel about my piercings again…blah blah blah., says he’ll call, I pray he doesn’t.

There are so many other little things that went on in this conversation (like the fact that he told me he never really messed with a thick girl but he heard that they got it and gave my body another once over) that just really depleted my confidence in men to the point where I was sad when I walked away from him only because I’ve been exploring the philosophy that you attract back what you put out in the world. Could it be?